My Bloody Valentine is a bumbling retread of a 1981 Canadian horror movie of the same name. Its originator was forgettable schlock, but at least it has managed to find some kitsch value alongside the other Friday The 13th wannabes of the decade. However, this pointless remake just feels old, tired and outdated. Abiding by the I Know What You Did Last Summer blueprint, the film sees Jaime King’s teen princess struggling to come to terms with events from the past. The film’s boogeyman is Harry Warden (or is it?), a relentless serial killer dressed in miners’ garb and armed with a pickaxe. Predictable really isn’t the word. What makes My Bloody Valentine unique, though, is the fact it’s in 3D. The technology musters a thrilling experience out of watching the film. Lionsgate certainly knows how to package up a horror film on Blu-ray, both Saw IV and V were great examples of this, and My Bloody Valentine maintains this trend. The visuals remain dull, dark and moody in a greater resolution, while 3D high points range from a small pooch scuttling around the camera to a tree branch surging forward. These are fairly cheap instances that all look great on the disc. It’s easy to apply the argument that bad films such as this shouldn’t be graced with this innovative technology, only the Avatars and Monsters Vs. Aliens of this world should benefit. This may ring true to many, but when you’ve got an axe swirling towards you that’s bent on crashing through your 40-inch Sony BRAVIA screen, who’s really to argue? Until better movies presented in this style hit the format, this dead-on-its-feet slasher can hold the title as one of the best 3D features on BD. For the time being, anyway.
Feature: Extras: Picture: Audio:
Director: Patrick Lussier
Starring: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King
Released: Out Now