That faint murmur you’ve been hearing online over the last few days is the news that Push, an underwhelming superhero movie from 2009, is being given the TV show treatment. Joy.
So in order to celebrate this less than momentous occasion, we’ve provided you with a list of five movies that really – and we mean really – don’t need to be turned into a television series.
Jumper
Director: Doug Liman
Do we really need to see a poor man’s Hayden Christensen pouting his way through a show based on this movie? Thought not. Jumper was bad enough as it stands (or is that leaps?) with Christensen and co pinging around, so Lord knows what would happen to this property if the TV execs got their mitts all over it.
Battlefield Earth
Director: Roger Christian
This all-time stinker already has an important place in the genre: it’s a showcase on how not to make a science-fiction movie. Unless subjection to awful TV is invented as some kind of torture technique by the US military, there really is no need to bring this turkey back to life.
Hancock
Director: Peter Berg
Disregarding the issue that Will Smith hasn’t dipped into TV since those heady days of The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, and wouldn’t be available to star in a Hancock series, the fact still remains that this is a movie unworthy of a sequel, let alone TV show.
G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra
Director: Stephen Sommers
Ponder the idea of a live-action G.I. Joe series for just a minute and the prospect doesn’t sound that bad. But then the movie pops back into mind, and the horrors of Stephen Sommers’ recent summer suck-fest quell any thoughts of this ilk.
Van Helsing
Director: Stephen Sommers
This scarily bad homage to Universal’s monster features of old scarred us all, and for that reason alone a TV series is a big, bad idea. Plus, for every minute of Van Helsing’s runtime, there is a better episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Fact.
