9 Days DVD review

Grim horror film 9 Days: Whipped, Chained And Tortured By A Psychopath is on DVD from 28 May 2013

Usually you’re predisposed to being a bit more forgiving of low budget horror fair, due to lowered expectations.

So congratulations to 9 Days: Whipped, Chained And Tortured By A Psychopath, a film so rotten that it plummets straight through those lowered expectations, smashing into all and sundry before lying on the floor in a creaking, groaning mess of blood and sputum.

9 Days is the tale of a girl who called Danielle, who escapes her abusive foster father only to run into a psychopath called Vergil (Danielle? Vergil? Divine Comedy? Get it?), who locks her up in his basement and metes out various tortures to her while flying off on rants about sin and religion.

Obviously, torture porn is meant to leave you feeling like you need a shower, but so mean spirited, unsavoury and downright unlikeable is 9 Days that you’ll not only want to take a shower, but fumigate the room you watched it in.

Shocking acting, horrible direction and cringeworthy dialogue are prevalent throughout. The worst thing is it tries to be funny at times. It’s perfectly possible for comedy to work in low-budget nasty horror films (Blood Car is a prime example, a film that was equal parts repulsive and hilarious), but 9 Days misses its targets with its attempts at humour pretty much all the time.

When it isn’t being vile, it’s being boring, which is the most unforgiveable thing about it.

There’s a scene in the movie which encapsulates the whole thing perfectly. It involves Vergil nonchalantly throwing out the contents of the bucket he provides Danielle with for defecation. It serves no purpose maybe other than to show how far gone and wacked out Vergil is, but all it really does is show how low 9 Days is willing to go in order elicit a sense of disgust from the poor sods watching it.

Therefore it’s suggested that should someone bring this movie over for an evening’s viewing, follow Vergil’s example, stick it in a bucket and throw it away without giving it a second thought.

Worthless, ghastly nonsense.