Guardians Of The Galaxy merchandising needs to stop

Marvel’s licensing campaign for Guardians Of The Galaxy has gone seriously awry

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Oh hey, who’s that?

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Look, I know someone’s there. My boyfriend’s a football player and he’s gonna KICK YOUR ASS.

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OH MY GOD, NO!

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OH GOD, NO. HE’S SEEN ME. PLEASE GOD. PLEASE GOD.

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*music begins*

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*music swells*

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This range of frankly nightmarish Guardians Of The Galaxy costumes are available now from CostumeCraze.com. What the hell is wrong with you?