Five reasons why Zack Snyder’s Superman will suck…

…and five reasons why it won’t.

Why it will suck

Zack Snyder

The man has never made a good film. Ever. 300 was xenophobic, testosterone-driven nonsense that stopped just short of having an accompanying WWE logo. Watchmen was a vacuous, overblown disappointment. Dawn Of The Dead had a terrific opening and then set about undoing that good work with a hour and half’s worth of crap. He also did the thing with the owls.

Superman

The Last Son Of Krypton is not a character that lends himself well to good stories. Simple. There is no drama because there is always a solution: him.

Slooooowwww-moooooo

Snyyydddeeeerrr uuusssess tthhhiissss aallllotttt. Ittttttttt’sss cccompppleeette shhhhittttt.

The sex-scene in Watchmen

This is sort of point one again but so disgusting was this scene in the recent adaptation that it deserves to be singled out. Simply, the guy who filmed this superhero sexy-time should be banned from filmmaking. Clearly.

Christopher Reeve

No matter who Snyder and Nolan cast, and no matter how hard the audience tries to forget, every subsequent Superman film and the actor playing him will be in the almighty shadow of Christopher Reeve, an actor so suited to the role that he made a Superman film with Richard Pryor as joint lead watchable.

Next: Why it won’t…